On the note of naming possessions, why do I feel that tech gear/gadgets like computers or mp3 players get male names while cars and musical instruments get female names? Is that just me. Maybe I feel like it's because computers do work for me, kinda like characters in movies will sometimes name a computer or A.I. with a butler-sounding name, while I can drive/ride in cars and play instruments...? Hm. Sexist much? Psh, nonsense.
This next bit's gonna fly right over your head if you don't know what I'm talking about, but Dante's named so because he's red, and my previous ipod's name was Vergil because he's blue. This has nothing to do with Dante's Inferno, rather I've named them as such because they mirror the color schemes of video game characters from Devil May Cry 3. Vergil's job is to wake me up now, and sometimes I bring him on runs and workouts. I have a Vergil II, but it's just not the same. He's not blue!
Alright, end geekout.
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I don't quite understand. Earlier tonight I had a choice, but there was an impulse that I couldn't control which resulted in an unfortunate split second glance. I couldn't confirm, but I felt in my gut. It made my flesh crawl in a slimy, sickening way.
And I wonder if I'm playing a dangerous game at the moment. Didn't get any sort of psychological pleasure from it, but there seemed to be some physical aspect I somewhat relished. Although I can't say I enjoyed the aftereffects. Is this supposed to be me rebelling, that now that the status has changed I can do things that once restricted me? If so, then is it really just a low, attention-grubbing effort? Maybe it's stress-related.
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