Brain Dump.3

What a day. Auditioned for Kollaboration: Atlanta with an original song I wrote. Was I nervous? Oh hell yes. I haven't done many auditions in general, so it's still a pretty nerve-wracking experience for me. How did it go? Well I gave it my best shot, and I think I did well enough.
I'm not quite sure why I decided to audition. I thought it'd be fun? An interesting learning experience? Maybe I felt like if I auditioned and got in, it'd be like some kind of validation for music. Or something.

After the audition, they did a video interview. There were quite a number of questions about why I do what I do, what it means to be an artist/Asian-American artist, the fact about minorities in general trying to get into mainstream media and entertainment, and even advice to give to other aspiring artists. Honestly, I felt kinda bad, hypocritical. I don't consider myself an artist. I mostly auditioned just for the hell of it, and music is something I love. I do think what Kollaboration does and its mission is really awesome and great, but...yeah. I don't know.

Also, celebrated little brother's (alright, not-so-little anymore but he's still little to me) birthday with other family. While at the restaurant, I kinda observed a gaggle of kids crowding around their table, leaning over iphones/ipod touches as they played games and chatted on about other fun things. Made me kinda nostalgic and wish that I were 5 or 6 again, when all that mattered were toys, video games, skipping showers as many times as possible, and thinking girls were gross and mean. Good times.

Watched No Reservations (movie, not Anthony Bourdain show). This movie isn't all that great and it's pretty damn predictable (what romantic movie isn't) but there's just some kind of charm that I enjoy. Maybe it's Zeta-Jones looking so pretty/classy, or the chemistry between her and Eckhart that seems to work pretty well. Maybe I just like the food aspect. Who knows. 

This is why I built that fucking wall.

UH. I DIDN'T STUDY.

DISASTER OF DISASTERS.

I'm such an idiot. If I could kick myself in the face, I would right now. Although I'm sure I'd have a different reaction if it weren't for this particular...complication.

But now for some reason as a result, I can't get Ben Folds out of my head:



I really like this song. It's another one of my favorites from this album. It's almost heartbreaking, really...


Claire's Ninth
Music by Ben Folds, lyrics by Nick Hornby


So she stands and waits and waits at the school gate 
They're late, they come, so dumb 
In two cars when they agreed one 
And it's gone wrong on her birthday 
So they go to Joe's for pizza and ice cream 
They sit and stare and Claire just wants to be 9 and a half 
Next year she'll tell them she only wants world peace 

But Claire, Claire baby 
I wish you knew how this all got twisted 
I wish you could see right inside us 
In all of this stuff, the best of us that we can't get out 

What's the point of this 
What's wrong with two birthdays 
It's cool at school 
Her friends, they all have two birthdays 
Oh geez, he just asked the waitress out on a date on her birthday 


But Claire, Claire baby
I wish you knew how this all got twisted
I wish you could see right inside us
In all of this stuff, the best of us that we can't get to

Here's the cheque
They pay with two cards like they've never met
Goodbyes outside; it's cold in LA

Claire, Claire baby
I wish you knew how this all got twisted
I wish you could see right inside us
The best of us for most of us
Or what we were, you're all that's left
It used to be our birthday too

The Game is Afoot

God, how long it's been since I've felt this way. Makes me giddy.

It's pleasantly cruel and deliciously daring, but also an unwanted distraction from much more important matters.

But I still wonder if this is what I've been anticipating.

Brain Dump.2

1. Finally received my new pair of monitoring headphones. Sound soooooo good. And they're ridiculously comfortable too. 'Dem Germans, mayne, make good sound for der hearin', ahyup.

2.

SOCIALLY AWKWARD PENGUIN MEME:

^STORY OF MY LIFE. 

3. I'm already super busy and the semester's just started. Must prepare two scenes over the weekend in addition to crapton of work.  Woo. 

4. I recall a discussion with someone close to me, and person asked "What's the opposite of love?" My first guess was Hate, but I caught myself and didn't say it right away because I thought, aren't Love and Hate supposed to be something of similar emotions? And after some careful consideration, I finally replied "Apathy." If you hate someone, there's at least a degree of proving you care to express emotion towards that person, while if you're apathetic, there's no care whatsoever. No concern, either good or bad. However, receiving the blunt end of someone's hate or apathy has got to be miserable either way. The question is, if forced to make a choice, what would you choose?

5. Class today was rather...interesting. Sometimes, I freak myself out. It almost worries me. 

UNCANNY.

What the hell, David Choi?! I know these two songs of yours have been out for some time but I just made some connections with the lyrics and they're FREAKING ME OUT.

Pretty  much the story of my fall semester, right here. What the shit. Damn.





It's like these songs were written in advance for such a situation...

'Hem, but all the strange, eerie uncanniness aside, I really do admire this guy and his work. He's probably one of, if not the, first channels I started following on youtube. I think I discovered him for myself when I was looking around at covers of Viva la Vida when that song first hit x-number of summers ago, and I came across his cover of Coldplay's smash tune. And I thought "wow, this guy is really good." I poked around his other work and became a fan. However, I will admit I think alot of his songwriting/lyrics are kinda sappy-ish, but he's just got so much talent when it comes to the music. I consider him an inspiration.

GODAMNIT LEEROY

COMPLETE AND UTTER DISASTER: Leeroy, my thus-far, semi-new reliable computer, has fallen victim to some mysterious ailment and I had to take him in to get fixed. So for the meantime, I'm stuck using Dante. Howya doin', old boy? Dante's gotten a little slow over the past year and his battery is starting to fizzle out, but he still gets the job done.

On the note of naming possessions, why do I feel that tech gear/gadgets like computers or mp3 players get male names while cars and musical instruments get female names? Is that just me. Maybe I feel like it's because computers do work for me, kinda like characters in movies will sometimes name a computer or A.I. with a butler-sounding name, while I can drive/ride in cars and play instruments...? Hm. Sexist much? Psh, nonsense. 

This next bit's gonna fly right over your head if you don't know what I'm talking about, but Dante's named so because he's red, and my previous ipod's name was Vergil because he's blue. This has nothing to do with Dante's Inferno, rather I've named them as such because they mirror the color schemes of video game characters from Devil May Cry 3. Vergil's job is to wake me up now, and sometimes I bring him on runs and workouts. I have a Vergil II, but it's just not the same. He's not blue!

Alright, end geekout. 

-----

I don't quite understand. Earlier tonight I had a choice, but there was an impulse that I couldn't control which resulted in an unfortunate split second glance. I couldn't confirm, but I felt in my gut. It made my flesh crawl in a slimy, sickening way. 

And I wonder if I'm playing a dangerous game at the moment. Didn't get any sort of psychological pleasure from it, but there seemed to be some physical aspect I somewhat relished. Although I can't say I enjoyed the aftereffects. Is this supposed to be me rebelling, that now that the status has changed I can do things that once restricted me? If so, then is it really just a low, attention-grubbing effort? Maybe it's stress-related. 

I Left My Heart in San Francisco

^Because I like using songs/music in cheesy/witty ways.

SF is so very interesting and unique. It's been quite awhile since I'd visited last, so seeing visiting places I've been before had a pretty fresh feeling to them. Haight-Ashbury was new to me. It's a trendy little place filled with strange art, music, and hippies, so to speak. Kinda like Little Five Points in Atlanta, but bigger and better. Also, apparently we really lucked out with the weather during our visit. Usually in January-February, SF weather is freakishly unpredictable with varying degrees of heavy fog, torrential rain, and flip-flopping warm/cold temps. Our stay was graced with awesome sunshine with just the right amount of cool. Sweet.

I sometimes wonder if I'd like to live in a big city, but I feel like I'm too passive and something of a push-over to survive in this type of setting. But then again who knows, maybe city-living would force me to be assertive.

The cost of living though is just so damn high in big cities, it's almost dizzying.

I'd like to compare SF to New York but it's been a while since I've been to the latter city. If I lived in San Francisco there's the potential for earthquakes. But New York seems like it'd be freakishly cold and snowy. Then I forgot how hilly SF is. Seriously. So many damn hills that I wish we passed a bike-messenger so I could give him a high five. Although across the Golden Gate bridge, there were cyclists galore. I'd so bike like crazy if I lived in SF. Beautiful.

Who knows, who knows. Maybe I'd go to a city for residency.

But for the present, it's time to begin slaving over schoolwork. Fun stuff.



When I first started discovering youtube for myself, this video was featured on the front page one day, and I just fell in love with this song. Since then, I've been following this artist, Goh Nakamura, a Bay Area independent musician. I feel this song is appropriate.

Bread makes you FAT?!

I've been in such a funk today. Seems like this happens alot lately. Unfortunately, said funkiness most likely affected my performance on my MCAT diagnostic. Great. 

I'd rant about my reasons, but I'd be beating dead horse. Not even dead - more like just the cold, bare skeleton of said horse slowly being swallowed by the earth. 

I guess I'll also put some blame on the ridiculous weather we're getting. 

Now the question is, how do I cheer myself up? 

Scott Pilgrim vs the World, of course! This time with director and writers' commentaries on. Woo. 

WhywhyWHY do they make Knives Chau/Ellen Wong get a haircut halfway through the film?! She's way cuter pre-haircut. Ugh. 

As for Ramona's hair colors, my favorite is the blue. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because my favorite color is blue. Or I have thing for girls with blue in their hair? I wish I could put some blue in my hair. Who knows. 

...so now I'm realizing, what's the deal with this story and hair? Knives' hair cut, Ramona's hair color changes, and Scott's insecurity about his lack of hair-cut. 

I think the numbering motifs are very clever in this film. What I discovered from this commentary is the thing about Scott drinking Coke Zero. Zero! Get it? Because Scott is number zero before he has to fight all of Ramona's exes...

...well I think it's neat. 

Also I've been meaning to link this song for some time, and this morning on my treacherous drive back here, it came up on my ipod, which prompted me to remember at some point to link it. 

Yeah it's somewhat old, but it's one of my favorite kpop songs as well as one of my favorite songs in general. No, I can't speak Korean except pick up on some basic words/phrases, but I like to believe music itself transcends spoken language barriers. Anyways. 

I'm not sure what it is about this song. I love the beat, and the electronica sound that weaves its way throughout the entire piece. A friend once commented that Dambi doesn't seem like all that great of a singer. Maybe said friend has a point. But regardless, I still love this song. 

Also, this music video is just plain hot. The chair dance in the beginning? Oh man. Unfortunately because of that, I also sometimes vaguely associate this song as stripper/ing song-music. Or is it lapdance. Wait what. 

Going to San Fran for the MLK weekend. But honestly, I'm more excited at the prospect of eating  In-N-Out than the trip itself. 

FUCK YEAH IN-N-OUT. 

Poetry, bitch.

Oh the things I stumbleupon:

I see you driving
round town with the girl I love
and I'm like, haiku.


I literally laughed aloud when I read this. Ahhhhh, some people are just so clever/witty to realize things like these.

Take me back to the start

With all this snow, building a fire seems like a pretty warm idea. Six-ish inches of snow fell last night and today it's buried under a thin layer of ice. It's pretty bizarre.

I never realized how immensely satisfying watching a burning photograph could be.

And I take solace in the fact that each passing day is a day closer to the time when all of this won't matter anymore.

Secrets Secrets are no Fun

Amusing secrets on the postsecret site for Sunday, Jan 9 2011:

-----Email-----
College has been anything but the best four years of my life. I will graduate with one friend, a mediocre GPA, and memories of horrible people. But i'm okay with it because I know I have the rest of my life ahead of me. 

^Excuse me, I find TOMS to be quite comfortable, thank you very much to the kind person who sent this. Hah. 

It's interesting how even though my brother and I now see our friend, whom we've known since we were little, probably only once or twice a year, each time we do meet we're able to almost pick up right where we left off. It's a great and reassuring feeling. Sometimes I almost expect things to be radically different. Granted, things do change as we all get older, but our friendship stays the same. I like that. 

Also, I think my body was only tricking me into thinking I go to sleep at times that normal people do. Perhaps I was only catching up on lost sleep from this past semester. Well I'd better prepare myself. This upcoming semester is going to really suck royal, festering, donkey balls. I'm actually dreading going back to school. 

And one last thing: it's a complete wonder and miracle that I haven't been pulled over/Carla hasn't been towed away due to an exorbitantly expired license tag (KNOCK ON WOOD). 

Just because we've hit the ground, doesn't mean we're not still falling

^Cool points if that line is recognized. 

1. Since I'm jumping aboard the Nat Portman bandwagon and still feeling the movie rush, my initial thoughts on No Strings Attached based on trailers: seems entertaining and could be pretty funny, but entirely predictable. Two friends try to be fuck-buddies until one starts wanting more in terms of a relationship, then the deal's off. I'm prrrrrreeeetty sure it's safe to say the characters Kutcher and Portman play are gonna end up together, not until of course they go through some seriously melodramatic conflicts.

Then there's the thing about the two trailers, one more PG than its R-rated counterpart. The green trailer connotates an rather innocent romantic comedy about the situation, while the red trailer reveals the film's gonna show alot more than that, if you catch my drift. I don't know.

...oops, just checked, and definitely did not catch the R rating for the film. Anyways.

What's ALSO greatly amusing is that in trailer you get a glimpse of a scene where Kutcher-character brings over a mix-CD for Portman-character and her friends, and it's dubbed as a "Period Playlist," aptly named because she and her roommates are experiencing "Shark week." (Why Shark week? Look up a diagram of a shark brain. Now a female reproductive system. Coincidence? I think not.) And that playlist is actually listed on the movie's website! Hilarious.

2. I think things are looking up, and are progressing as they should be. Discovered an unfinished first draft of a project that I now decided to undo/destroy. Realized winding the strands back into neat balls was too much work and not worth the effort and decided to haphazardly yank at the line until the whole thing unravelled into a messy pile. Satisfying. The first thing I'd like to do when I return is destroy what I can of that meaningless garbage in that box lurking beneath my bed, and set fire to the remains. Mm, toasty.

3. Hearing my Dentist and her assistant briefly discuss the marital status of other staff was amusing. Maybe women never change? Hah. Also, the nitrous oxide they were giving me was pretty weaksauce. Didn't feel float-y, light, or the urge to laugh at all. Pretty disappointing.

4. If it weren't for certain issues and concerns, I feel like I'd never want to speak to you again. But, the aforementioned bind me as well as a certain respect and/or fear of you. Twice now I've heard "I hope one day you'll understand what I did." Well at the moment, I can't. Am I supposed to one day do the things you did and I'll understand then? I feel like my views on long-term relationships are completely screwy after all of this. And it's making me a bit depressed.

5. Just finished reading Youth in Revolt, by C.D. Payne. Yes, the movie of the same name that stars Michael Cera is based on this novel. It's a really fascinating (but long) read. I don't remember the finer details when I watched the film, but this book is just hilarious and greatly entertaining. The movie certainly lacks the more graphic details the book describes. This kid is 14 years old and he's simply intelligent, devious, and sexually promiscuous beyond belief. It's awesome. I realized I hadn't been jotting down favorite quotes, except this one towards the end:

"Consider, if you will, the morning boner. What a metaphor of hope and renewal! How can anyone give way to despair when one's groin greets each new day with such a gala spectacle of physiological optimism?"

Hilarious. Also because of this book, I'm interested in trying to listen to more Frank Sinatra. We'll see.

6. Also just found out 18 of the 20 students (myself included) in my creative writing class this semester are girls. This should be interesting...

Movie Madness

Three movies in the span of two days? That's a first (for me anyways.) Black Swan, 127 Hours, and Tron. Catching up with the holiday movie flood, I suppose.

Oh yeah, Spoiler Alerts all around.

Tron:
I've heard mixed things about this movie. People either liked it, or they thought it was ok. I thought the film was pretty good. Personally though, I was expecting more Daft Punk music, but seeing their presence in the film as DJs for Zuse's club was pretty clutch. Speaking of Zuse, he's definitely the best character in this movie. Because of him, I'll now start referring to alcohol as libations more often. Too bad they killed him off.
I found myself somewhat lost and a tad confused. This might be because I'm pretty new to the Tron story and am unaware of the details of the original plot. Also, I imagine the beginning of the film was meant to  fill in viewers such as myself, except the the theatre I was in had tech problems and there was no sound for the first 5 minutes or so. Good stuff. Luckily we were compensated with a free movie pass/return.
Basically, the sound was great, visuals were great, characters were meh, story was meh. I hear watching it in 3D is pretty exciting, but I find 3D to be really overrated these days and not worth the extra 3-4 bucks.

127 Hours: 
Starring James Franco. It's based on the story of Aron Ralston, guy who goes canyoning, gets his arm caught underneath a rock, and after nearly five and a half days, he amputates his wrist and hand to escape and is rescued. The premise was promising, but walking into the movie I was somewhat skeptical. What can you do with a guy stuck under a rock for an at least 90 minute film? Kind of like that one movie Open Water I think where the couple goes scuba diving but gets left behind and is stuck in the middle of the ocean for several days before both eventually die. However, Danny Boyle, the director who also did Slumdog Millionaire, did a great job with this movie. It had a really fresh feeling to it even though most are probably at least somewhat aware of the story of Aron Ralston. At a couple of points I thought the film slowed down slightly, but again, what do you expect from a guy trapped underneath a small boulder for 80% of the movie? The ending was intense, with graphic visuals of Franco snapping and hacking his arm off. I enjoyed this movie, though when I first saw trailers for it, I wasn't aware it would be something of a small/indie film. Or maybe it just happened to be so because the theatre we saw it at only shows those types of films. Regardless, 127 Hours is a great and pretty powerful film.

Black Swan: 
Holy crap. Now THIS is an intense movie. I'd heard words flying around about how awesome and spectacular this movie is, and I'm all for psychological films that'll mess with your head. Natalie Portman is simply pristine in her portrayal of Nina, rather innocent, over-protected girl who lands the role of Swan Queen. However, she finds herself only capable of portraying the White Swan and lacks the passion and raw energy of the Black Swan. Meanwhile, Mila Kunis is Lily, another dancer who is the exact opposite of Nina: fun, energetic, flirtatious and rebellious - a perfect fit for the Black Swan, and Nina's believed competition for the role. The story follows Nina and her struggle to be the perfect Swan Queen at any cost.
A cousin is a Natalie Portman fan, and I didn't really quite understand him and his liking, but after this movie, now I do. Simply put, she's amazing in this film. Her characterization is pretty intense and very well done. She does wonders with how she portrays the soft, somewhat fragile mommy's girl to slowly growing in numbers of flashes of the dark and uninhibited side of her that she wants and needs to harness if she's to be the perfect Swan Queen. Portman is just so, so incredible in this film. My experience in viewing Mila Kunis on screen before this movie had been Forgetting Sarah Marshall and The Book of Eli. Marshall was a comedy, so I felt Kunis' role in that movie was limited and somewhat shallow, while her character in Eli, a dramatic action post-apocalyptic movie, I think was a bit forgettable. But her role as Lily in Black Swan was executed pretty well as the foil to Portman's character. It's pretty obvious the two are meant to be contrasts what with Nina in her soft colors and fluffy white scarf while Lily dresses in more black that just screams attitude. I don't know, let's just say Kunis has elevated herself a notch or two in my book.
Also, this is pretty much the guy in me saying this, but daaaaaamn, I definitely did not see the NataliexMila action coming. Crazy HOT I mean, peculiar stuff. Yes. 'Hem, roight then.
A day later and I still find myself thinking about this movie. It's just so interesting because there are so many themes to ponder about. The intense desire for perfection. Awakenings, self and sexual. Relationships. Paranoia. Man (or woman...ok, dancer) vs self, vs other(s). Self harm. Metamorphoses. Ah, so, so complex and interesting.  I'd unfortunately wikipedia'd the movie and spoiled the twist ending for myself, but everything else about the movie and the grittier plot details were still deliciously wonderful.
I think I almost want to watch Black Swan again, but it's nowhere near like my Scott Pilgrim obsession (yet...?)

Hm, other movies I need to see. There's Tangled. I still haven't seen Harry Potter 7 (pt 1). Also, the indie theatre where I watched 127 Hours is screening Rabbit Hole, a movie I'm pretty excited to see. It's based on a play by David Lindsay-Abaire, who I've also discovered wrote the screen play. I first had a taste of the play when classmates acted a scene from it last spring in my acting class, then I read the play in its entirety later in the semester. It's a really powerful and moving play, and I'm stoked to see how the film version turns out. It seems rather promising, from what I can gleam from the trailer. I also haven't seen The Social Network yet, which apparently is surprisingly good. Also, Love and Other Drugs. Why? I love Anne Hathaway. Deal. Then I hear True Grit is a pretty rousing film. So much to see, so little time (and funds).

RIP 2010

What better way to ring in the new year with some good ol' streakin'! + lit sparklers. + noisemakers. Across the golf course. Good times.

Song time!


Such a badass, pump-up song. Coincidentally, with its gnarly bass, heavy drum beats, and killer guitar noise, I always imagined this would make a good stripper song. Wait what.