They say a dog sees God in its master

I love having the opportunity to be part of the cast of a student production of Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead, because this is pretty much one of my top 5 favorite plays ever. However, with all the uncanny timing coincidences in terms of what's going on with my life and the events in the play, this play is basically my life. Please stop. kthx.

I miss my dog, Diamond. I know my mother had to take her to the Vets last week so they could put her down, but I knew as soon as I got home for spring break and finally had to acknowledge there is one less dog in our backyard, I would miss Diamond terribly. Well, I'm home for the week now. And I miss Diamond.

I think this picture is almost 4 years old now. But she looks so happy and lively here, and this is how I'll always remember her. 

Our other dog, Onyx, pictured right, is still alive and well. Again this picture was taken the same time as the first one so it's a bit old now, but I like it. One of the first things I did when I got home tonight was sit in our backyard and pet Onyx, scratch his belly and ears. I did that for a while and then went to finish unpacking my car, but he ran up the gate and started whimpering, so I went back and scratched him some more. When my mother called me last week to tell me Diamond was put down, she mentioned how she didn't know if Onyx was aware that Diamond's gone. I have a feeling if he didn't then, he knows now. It makes me kind of sad. 

When I spoke to my mother before then, she asked me if I wanted to come home and see Diamond one last time. I didn't want to. I'd already said goodbye when I left home after Christmas/New Year's break, because it was around then when we all knew she didn't have much time left. 

It felt somewhat cowardly, when I said I didn't want to come home. Part of me didn't want to because I knew that by doing so, I wouldn't have to deal with the emotions of losing her. This can also be said for multiple things though. I ultimately don't want to come home because I don't have to confront and deal with a lot of things. I can only handle so much home life for so long before I get irritated and crass and want to leave. This will make next year very interesting. 

...Anyways. I've never had to deal with losing a dog before. It's a somewhat nteresting experience, to say the least. 

Diamond, you will be missed. 

CB: And you think there are animals there? In heaven? 

BEETHOVEN: "The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat; and the calf, and the lion, and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them. The cow will feed with the bear, their young will down together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox. The infant will play near the hole of the cobra, and the young child put his hand into the viper's nest." 

~Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead