Coming Full Circle

I've discussed or referenced a certain play on multiple occasions on this blog, the play Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead by Bert V. Royal. The play is basically about the Peanuts comic strip characters grown up and in high school and dealing with a shitstorm of relatively intense adult themes and issues. You see Charlie Brown, Sally, Peppermint Patty, Marcie, Pigpen, Linus, Lucy, and Schroeder, but the playwright's given them different names (while still heavily alluding to their original ones) and different relationships. I was first exposed to this play my sophomore year as an undergrad when I was trying to look for a monologue to work on for my Acting I class, and I settled on a monologue spoken by Beethoven(Schroeder.) Of course I had to read the play, and since then, it has become one of my top five favorite plays of all time. I don't even know if I have three or four other plays that can make up the rest of the list, but if I did, Dog Sees God would hold its own place. 

This play strikes so many chords within me that I can't help but feel emotional when I read it. It covers a plethora of themes, notably: friendships, bullying, homosexuality, and suicide. I've come back to this play multiple times over the past two years or so, sometimes when I want to reuse the monologue for an audition, sometimes to reference a certain line that is particularly endearing to me because it deals with suicide. It's a truly mesmerizing play that I will always treasure. Oftentimes I have to stop and remember the play is a dark comedy, because it's so easy to get caught up in the characters' conflicts; I have to constantly remind myself to suspend my disbelief, heh. 

Anyways, one of the student organizations in the theatre department here at my school is putting on a production of Dog Sees God. Needless to say, I auditioned. 

AND I GOT CAST AS MOTHERFUCKIN' BEETHOVEN, BITCHES. 

I am SO excited. Words cannot even begin to describe how happy I am right now. Beethoven is easily my favorite character in the play (a fact that may or may not have to do with my doing his monologue and analyzing his character for class two years ago). But, he's Schroeder, and I've always had a kindred spirit with him. I think it has something to do with his being a piano geek, heh. 

But during my senior year in high school, the drama club did a production of You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown, a musical based on the Peanuts characters (but in their respective, original ages, hah). In that show, I was cast as Schroeder, and it's since easily been my favorite memory of high school. 

And now, it just feels...right. Like deja vu, in a sense. I've come full circle; four years later after my part as Schroeder in my high school musical, in my senior year as an undergrad, I'm Schroeder/Beethoven once more. 

It's like fate, I tell ya. And I am so thrilled that this strange yet welcome series of events is happening to me right now. 

However, upon further examination I find there are other aspects of my undergrad senior year that aptly resemble/mirror my high school senior year. I have a semi-solid friend group, even if it's taken me nearly four years to branch out and find these people. This has to do with the fact that I feel I've broken through another layer of my shell and am growing more comfortable with who I am and how I interact with people. There's this play, and the role I've wanted and have been cast in. And finally a certain romantic interest. It's so eerie how it feels that I'm in this cycle, and I'm now just completing one turn of whatever this system is. 

It's a bit alarming in some aspects, but it doesn't worry me much. Some time ago I mentioned how I feel like college is supposed to be a time of molding; you'll feel yourself shift and morph and adjust your beliefs, your morals, and what you value in terms of friendships and relationships. Looking back now, as I'm slowly approaching the end of my time as an undergrad, I'll firmly say I've definitely gone through that reshaping process -- who knows, maybe I'm still going. 

But I am not one bit ashamed of how things are turning out and right now, I am pretty damn proud of myself. 

The thing about white chocolate

Note: when trying to melt white chocolate, read the ingredients and make sure you're actually melting white chocolate made with actual cocoa butter/is capable of being melted smoothly, and is not, instead, made with just sugar and milk product. The result of using the latter results in the "white chocolate" simply chunking/dehydrating out, hardly melting at all. I learned this the hard way earlier today when I was trying to melt white chocolate to dip strawberries into and I first tried melting white chocolate "morsels" which, to my later dismay, gave me the result described above. It's okay though, nothing a quick run to the grocery store to buy the correct, melt-able white chocolate couldn't fix.

Time

Time is a funny thing. It seems to drag on forever but can pass you by as soon as you blink. Time can't speed up fast enough when you're in the middle of hurt and all you want to do is heal and get better but before you know it, it's been more than enough time and you've almost forgotten what made you feel a certain way to begin with.

I'd nearly forgotten about what today is, to me. Actually, in all honesty, I really did forget what today was until I saw a photo link on facebook. I really did pause and think, "Oh yeah...but, why is this being posted now?" Silly, silly me.

In my pitiful defense, I was very excited about teaching a massive group West Coast Swing lesson at the Friday Night Dance, and my second piece I've choreographed was to be performed as well (my first number I've choreographed hasn't been performed. Yet). So, I was very much looking forward to today, for dance-y reasons.

But last night, that all took a backseat to my shock. I'd forgotten. It has truly escaped my memory and I'd forgotten. Not Ashleigh, of course, but the date. It's...I don't know whether I should be ashamed of myself or not.

And then, goodness, I feel like this is more than a coincidence. The play Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead by Bert V. Royal is going in student-run production this semester, and I'd just found out this past week. I love this play, because I first discovered it my sophomore year, spring semester, during my acting class.

A line towards the end of the play goes, "Also, bear no malice for the ones that leave you. The only regret they feel now is the regret of not being able to tell you how they really feel." And when I read those lines for the first time, I got the strangest chills. I think it was around this time, too, that I must have discovered that play, and those lines, and now it seems like it's coming full circle with this play being produced. It's just too uncanny to be a coincidence.

If I'm going to be honest with myself, I'm sure one day, I will completely forget this date, and I will most likely be upset with myself that I'd done so.


But I believe I will never forget Ashleigh and the impact she's had.





Ashleigh Danielle Webster
Always Remembered, Always Loved.
4/22/88 - 2/3/06

Post-Ballroom Magic 2012

Ah, well. It's all led up to this moment, the end of BPG's annual show, Ballroom Magic. What can I say. It has been an amazing experience. All the countless hours spent rehearsing this past month. The all day weekend rehearsals and techs. The costumes. The stress. The energy. The people.

It's very bittersweet for me. It's my first and only Ballroom Magic that I will be a part of. In many ways it makes me rather depressed and a little angry even, angry at myself probably that I didn't get started with BPG sooner. But, I'm somewhat of a proponent for the things-happen-for-a-reason. Timing wise, things could be a lot different in terms of my friendships and relationships with various people I know now than if I'd started sooner. Who knows.

On the up side, I am extremely grateful to have even been a part of this experience. I'm so happy that most of my family came to see me perform. Hell, I'm so happy that I even got to perform in the pieces I was in.

I guess overall, I'm happy. I'm happy that I've learned what I learned in terms of dancing. I mean, it's not completely over yet; there's the rest of spring semester for me to continue learning as much as I can. Yes, the main attraction and performance is over, but there's still three months or so...until this semester ends...and when I graduate...crap. Hah.



On an semi un-related note, we had a cast+friends/family of cast party afterwards at the nifty Athens restaurant, Transmet, where we paid a fixed price and we could have all the non-alcoholic drink and food we wanted. Drinks from the bar were discounted but I didn't bother, but I did have a sip from friends' drinks or so, and all I can say is what the frick. I am never going to buy liquor-drinks from a bar if they all taste like this watered down crap. I can make myself a much better quality Gin and Tonic at home, thank you very much.

Which is exactly what I'm enjoying as I write this post.



Cheers! To an absolutely incredible show and an unforgettable experience.

Little Brother is now Legal!

Whatever that means these days. Happy Birthday Little-but-not-so-little-anymore brother! You're still my dumb punk kid brother, but you're also one of the funniest people I know. Even if said hilarity is a result of vulgar dick jokes and other low-brow humor.

I think he has a swim meet today or something. May poseidon grant you the speed of a sailfish and strength of a shark so that you may smite your competitors on this day, your day of birth.

This is seriously one of the most epic things I've ever watched

And all I can say is DAMN NATURE, YOU SCARY.

There's Just the Right Amount of Awkward

How I got around to some Lily Allen:

I was walking around in my school's bookstore sometime last fall semester when a song started playing over the speakers that piqued my interest a bit. I found out it was "Merry Happy" by Kate Nash. It's rather peppy and maybe just slightly...girly...but who cares, I like it. I was listening to her on Spotify and in that "Similar Artists" section or whatever it named Lily Allen. Why not, I thought, and I followed a link to some of her music next.

Maybe I'm coming back around into this British-female vocalist phase, because I quite fancy this music at the moment. Two songs I want to mention:

The first is "Fuck You"



I kinda love this song now. The ironic contrast of a happy-go-lucky melody with a big ol' "Fuck your ignorant hatred" makes me grin. I'll think of it/sing it in my head if someone ever says something completely distasteful, rude, and just plain mean.


The other is "Who'd Have Known"



When it first started playing, I was extremely caught off guard because I thought it was the T-Pain song playing (5 o'clock in the morning...or whatever it is). I could care less for that song...much less for T-Pain as well, but I had no idea the hook he uses in his track is from Lily Allen. As a result, I spent a good 5 seconds trying to figure out when the hell did I queue T-Pain's song. Surprise, surprise. Hah.

So I gave this song a listen...and now I love it, specifically the story it tells. Yes, it's a love song, but I like how it seems to aptly describe the feelings of someone in those not-quite-early-but-still-early-in-the-scheme-of-things stages of romance, with all the interactions, the witheld questions and curiosity about where this person is in terms of relationship. So freaking adorable.




In other news, I spent 8 hours in the dance building today (Saturday) getting ready for Ballroom Magic. Which equals me coming home and falling asleep around 8:30PM only to wake up about two hours later and suddenly not feeling that tired anymore even though I have another 8 hour tech rehearsal tomorrow (or today, Sunday, whatever). Awesome. But I'm really excited though. It's gonna be a great show!